GOD’S LOVE: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS

 

 

WHEN WE GATHER TOGETHER

IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY

CALLING OUT TO OUR FATHER

ASKING ONLY FOR HIS MERCY

 

WHEN WE RAISE OUR HANDS

TO GLORIFY YOUR NAME

SINGING AS WE WORSHIP YOU

AND ALL YOUR HOLY WAYS

 

WHEN WE GIVE IT ALL TO OUR GOD

AND HOLD NOTHING BACK FROM HIM

THIS IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS

 

WHEN WE ARE WILLING

TO SACRAFICE OUR TIME

TO BE THERE FOR SOMEONE

PUTTING OUR OWN NEEDS BEHIND

 

WHEN WE GET ON OUR KNEES

AND PRAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S NEEDS

HOPING AGAINST THE OUTCOME

AS WE PRAY THROUGH GRITTED TEETH

 

WHEN WE PUT OTHERS FIRST

AND GIVE ALL THE GLORY TO HIM

THIS IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS

 

WHEN WE CLOSE OUR EYES

AND SEEK AFTER HIS FACE

HOLDING ONTO THE PROMISE

OF HIS LOVE AND HIS GRACE

 

 

WHEN WE SHUT OUT THE WORLD

AND LISTEN TO HIM WHISPER IN OUR EAR

HE SPEAKS TO OUR YEARNING HEARTS

AND IN LOVE WE BEGIN TO HEAR

 

WHEN WE PUT HIM IN FIRST PLACE

AND REFLECT ON WHAT IS WITHIN’

THIS IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS

 

WHEN WE READ AND BELIEVE

THE WORDS HE SPOKE SO TRUE

THERE IS A HOPE THAT COMES ALIVE

LIKE NOTHING WE EVER KNEW

 

WHEN THAT FRIEND CALLS SO LATE

AND ALL WE WANNA DO IS SLEEP

INSTEAD WE RUSH TO THEIR SIDE

AND HOLD THEIR HAND AS THEY WEEP

 

WHEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO DO

BUT HAND OUR WORRIES OVER TO HIM

THIS IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS

 

WHEN HE TOOK ON HUMAN FORM

AND WALKED UPON THE EARTH

HE STRUGGLED AGAINST HIS FLESH

FOR ALL THAT IT WAS WORTH

 

WHEN HE CHOSE ONLY A FEW TO LEAD

FOR SOON HE WOULD GO AWAY

HE TOUCHED THE HEARTS OF MANY

ON THE CROSS THAT GLORIOUS DAY

 

WHEN HIS BLOOD WAS SHED FOR US

AS HE TOOK ONE LAST BREATH IN

THIS IS WHAT GOD’S LOVE LOOKS LIKE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING IT IS.

 

WRITTEN BY REBA POLAND AKA R. JANE POLAND @WORDPRESS.COM

TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

 

 

 NO MATTER HOW I LOVED

YOU KEPT PUSHING ME AWAY

NOW I WEEP IN MY SADNESS

WE HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY

 

JEALOUSY AND ANGER CREPT IN

AND STAYED INSIDE MY HEART

I CHOSE TO SPEAK THE WORDS

THAT WOULD COME TO TEAR US APART

 

I STILL SEE YOU EVERYDAY

BUT MY PAIN YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

HOLDING ONTO ALL OF MY REGRETS

IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

 

I CHOSE TO TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED

AND IN FAITH I TRUSTED YOU

SAYING WHAT I’VE FELT FOR SOME TIME

HOPING YOU WOULD PROVE TO BE TRUE

 

IN A MOMENT OF DESPERATION

YOU REPEATED TO SOMEONE ELSE

WHAT I TOLD YOU IN CONFIDENCE

IN ORDER TO SAVE YOURSELF

 

NOW THERE IS A WAR BETWEEN US

ON THIN ICE AS WE LEARN TO TIPTOE

WITH ONLY A SMILE BETWEEN US

IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

 

WISH I COULD TAKE BACK

THE WORDS I SPOKE SO CRUEL

NOW MY HEART IS BREAKING

BECAUSE I ACTED LIKE A FOOL

 

CAN’T DECIDE WHAT HURTS MORE

THE DECEIT I’M FEELING INSIDE

IS IT THE PAIN OF LETTING GO

OR THE EMPTINESS OF MY MIND

 

HOLDING MY TEARS BACK

AS NOW YOU’VE BECOME A FOE

CAN’T LET YOU SEE MY MISERY

IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

 

YOUR HEART SO EASILY REMOVED

FROM WHAT USED TO BE SO NICE

SO EASY FOR YOU TO LET GO

YOU DON’T NEED TO THINK TWICE

 

YOU MAKE BE BELIEVE I’M THE ONLY ONE

WHO DESERVES TO FEEL SOME SHAME

AS IF YOU ARE THE INNOCENT ONE

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS HURTFUL GAME

 

YOU PLAYED A PART IN ALL OF THIS

YET ANY GUILT FELT YOU FORGO

THEREFORE THIS FRIENDSHIP IS OVER

IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

 

WHILE I SUFFER IN MY BROKEN HEART

YOU CONTINUE ON WITH YOUR DAY

SMILING AND LAUGHING WITH OTHERS

ALL THE WHILE STILL KEEPING ME AT BAY

 

YES IT’S TRUE I CRY EVERY NIGHT

AT THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU

BUT AS I SEEK MY ONE TRUE FRIEND

THE DAYS I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH

 

SO I GUESS IT’S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT I KNOW

FOR NOW AND FOREVER I’M AFRAID

IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY HELLO

R. Jane Poland ©

Depression, Anxiety, Drama, Trust and so much more

 

 

 

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs your way from time to time and sometimes those curveballs spiral out of control.   The past few months of my life have been more like a tornado than a silly little curveball.  In the midst of the darkness depression can bring, I have found there to also be a bit of drama and anxiety as well.  This in turn tends to create a rollercoaster of emotions; Sending one’s heart into a vicious cycle of being extremely needy one minute to pushing people away the next.  It’s almost as if your brain shuts down and no matter what you say or do it is going to hurt someone, which in turn ends up hurting you even more.  Let me fill you in on some of the things that have been going on in my heart and mind as they are not currently in a good place.

 

For nearly 13 years now I have been struggling with depression. It comes and goes with whatever current circumstances are happing in my life.  I tend to get really sad over my financial status as well as friendship issues and drama’s.  When I get lost in my dark world of what seems to be a never ending sadness, it not only affects me emotionally, It also creeps itself into my body and makes me ill in one form or another.  For around 4 months now, I have been experiencing some terrible headaches.  I have been to the doctor several times in search of some answers as to why this “abnormal” headache is appearing repeatedly with zero relief.  I even went as far as having an MRI to get some resolve.  The MRI came out normal, I have tried a few different medications and I still have no answers or full relief.  I have sought relief by seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist, only to receive a little bit of relief for a very short period of time.

 

Having found no answers as to the cause of these almost constant headaches, I did what any normal person would do; I jumped right on the internet. I have done a lot of research and the only reason I am not completely convinced that I am dying from a brain tumor or viral meningitis is I have already had an MRI.  Although the MRI came out clear I am still somewhat convinced there is something terribly wrong that is causing me to have such painful headaches.  I am still doing research and will be changing some daily habits in order to receive some relief.  I will be adding some vitamins to my daily routine and well as seeking to have peace in my daily life.  I will also be getting back to the gym, not only to get my physical activity to a better level, but also so I don’t just sit around moping about what I would consider to be my less than perfect life.

 

Now, let me get back to the subject of depression. As you may or may not know depression is not something that you can just get over.  For myself, it drags me down a gravel road of love, hate, frustration, drama, rejection etc. and I end up scratched and bruised as I go down the same old familiar beaten path of emotions over and over again.  When I reach what I would consider to be the end of the road, I feel as though I have been left in a puddle of tears caused by my own breaking heart.  I say this because some questions arise that I find I don’t know the answers to.  Questions such as these: How much of this pain have I actually brought on to myself?  What can I do to make myself feel better?  Am I really the terrible person people are telling me I am? Are things really as bad as I make them out to be?  Where is the line drawn between what I am told to be true about myself and the actual truth I am to believe?

 

To go along with the painful headaches I have had over the past several months I have also experienced some radical emotional ups and downs. Although there are several reasons for this, I do believe the most prevalent one being an attack from the enemy.  I say this not only because I am a Christ follower, but also because I am in the middle of a very deep book study about putting on the Armor of God.  I know the enemy does not want unity and will do whatever it takes to weasel his way into the hearts and minds of believers in order to cause division.  I fully believe this is what has been taking place in my life.  I am under an attack and with the fragile state of mind and not so good physical health that has already been taking place, this is the perfect opportunity for the enemy to “kick me while I am down” and keep me from seeking after God.

 

Sometimes when things are going on in your life that cause you to become stressed you can’t always see how you are living your own life until someone else actually points out the harsh reality of how you have been acting and treating others. I for one happen to be a “teachable” person so I appreciate it when the people in my life are brutally honest, as this is usually the only way I learn from my mistakes and change my ways. However, if the damage has already been done others might not be forgiving and you have to live with the consequences of my hurtful words and actions.  I heard it said that “The first step towards recovery is to take responsibility for your part in what took place”.  Although I have done this in one particular incident, it is too late.  The damage has already been done and the other two people who were involved have chosen not to forgive me.  Now it is I who will suffer from the consequences.  This has only added to my frustration, anxiety and depression.  I have done what I can in attempt to resolve the situation so that it ends peacefully, but I am the only one willing to participate in any kind of reconciliation. I can point out the faults of others but I am only responsible for my own.  I cannot force people to forgive me. I can’t ask that others be teachable.  I can live and learn and move on as I accept responsibility for what I have done.  I can now move forward in search of my Savior instead of making these people the main topic on my mind.  Yes, my heart is breaking as both of these people have chosen to remove me from their lives, but this is (mostly) due to my own selfishness.  I do still love them and hope one day they too will be teachable and see the error of their own ways and how their participation in this drama has affected all of our lives.

 

With all of the drama that has occurred in my life over the past several days, months and years I have “learned” to wrap myself in a bubble of protection and not let people in. I pretend to be cold, non-caring person as a form of protection upon my heart.  When someone does show genuine care and concern the brick wall goes up and I start pushing them away.   I follow my head in lieu of my heart and I get defensive.  After all, if I do let them care about me I might start to love them and that can lead to nothing but a broken heart.  This lack of trust comes from many years of being deceived by those who I have chosen to let into my heart and assumed were trustworthy.  Let me just put a warning label on (some) people; Just because they say you can trust them doesn’t mean you can or should.  I for one will only trust my dog and God with any further secrets I may have in my life.  I will trust my dog because she is unable to speak and I trust God because He is the only one who will truly understand what I am going through and forgive me for my mistakes.

 

Along with depression also comes anxiety. I have actually been dealing with anxiety a lot longer than I have depression.  I believe my anxiety started at a fairly young age.  Although most of the time my anxiety attacks occur in the middle of the night, I have been known to have some occasional anxiety during the day, especially if I am in a large crowd.  The daytime anxiety is not the same as the middle of the night attacks. I guess the easiest way to explain the night time anxiety is that I do not like silence.  When I happen to wake up during the most quiet time of the night (This generally being between the hours of 1-4 a.m.) I tend to panic at the sound of the silence.  My heart races and I am afraid to get out of my bed.  When I experience anxiety during the day I tend to bite my lips or squeeze my fingers together in order to deal with whatever happens to be “freaking me out” at the moment.

 

Some very dramatic things have happened this week that will have a profound impact on my life. I was witness to something terrible, someone I love and trusted let me down and let me go, another whom is not teachable let me go, someone I least expected to showed up and prayed with me and a very sweet man sent me flowers at work.  It’s “funny” how when you are feeling down who actually “comes out of the woodwork” and lets you know how much they care.  Yes, I am still depressed.  Yes, I did lose 2 friends.  Yes, I am guilty of saying some things I shouldn’t have.  But I am also taking responsibility (owning up to) the things I have said and the way I have treated others.  I did my part and apologized.  I am willing to face the hurt that will take some time to get over.  I am willing to let these less than Godly people walk out of my life and experience a little bit of pain, so that I can move on into the life God has planned for me.  I feel so lucky to have so many God loving people in my life.  People who truly know how to love and aren’t afraid to express it,  People who will let me extend the hand of God’s love without being afraid that I might have too many expectations, People who will do and say things to help my journey towards my savior rather than lead me away from Him.

 

So I end this blog on a positive note. Throughout my battle with depression I am willing to look for the lovely in everything and everyone.  I may get hurt, but in the end I know God has a plan for me and that plan doesn’t include the people who choose not to be a part of my life.  In the end I would rather hold on to the one who died for me rather than the people who choose to deceive me.  In what is currently a very dark part of my life, I ask that you please pray for me.  Depression is not a fun place to be.  It is not something you can just snap out of.  Depression (especially when one is hurting with some fresh wounds) is not something that just goes away.  I also ask that if you know someone who is experiencing depression that you please reach out to them and let them know of their importance, their worth, their value and how much you love them.  I guarantee that even if they seem to be pushing you away they are really dying on the inside and crying for your help.

 

R JANE POLAND ©

THE LONELINESS OF ONE


 

 

 

 

 

SHE COMES HOME LATE AT NIGHT

 

TO THE EMPTINESS OF HER HOME

 

AS SHE TURNS ON THE LIGHTS

 

ONCE AGAIN SHE IS ALL ALONE

 

 

 

SHE CRIES OUT TO HER GOD

 

AS SHE FALLS TO HER KNEES

 

WONDERING IF HE HEARS HER

 

AS SHE BEGS AND SHE PLEADS

 

 

 

FATHER ARE YOU LISTENING

 

DON’T WANT TO BE A BURDEN

 

BUT I’S JUST GETTING TOO HARD

 

TO HANDLE THE LONELINESS OF ONE

 

 

 

BACK ON THE ROAD SHE GOES

 

FROM ONE TOWN TO THE NEXT

 

SHOWING OFF HER SMILING FACE

 

WHILE INSIDE HER SECRETS ARE KEPT

 

 

 

THERE HAS TO BE SO MUCH MORE

 

THAN THIS LONG EMOTIONAL ROAD

 

LONGING TO FIND THAT SOMEONE

 

SHE CLINGS TO EVERY PIECE OF HOPE

 

 

 

SHE WATCHES AND WAITS AS SHE WONDERS

 

WHEN THAT SPECIAL DAY WILL FINALLY COME

 

WHEN SHE WILL NO LONGER FEEL THE PAIN

 

THAT COMES FROM THE LONELINESS OF ONE

 

 

 

FOR A MOMENT SHE CLOSES HER EYES

 

AND SEE’S WAY BEYOND HER OWN HEART

 

SHE FOCUSES ON JESUS DYING ON THE CROSS

 

HE TOO WAS ALONE, WHEN HE WAS SO TORN APART

 

 

 

SHE CRIES OUT AS HE ONCE DID

 

“WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME”

 

AM I TO BE FOREVER BY MYSELF

 

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME

 

 

 

MY CHILD HOLD ONTO MY PROMISES

 

AS MY WORK IN YOU IS NOT DONE

 

FOR I AM AWARE OF YOUR BROKEN HEART

 

THAT DERIVES FROM THE LONELINESS OF ONE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AS SHE PREPARES HER EVENING BATH

 

SHE WEEPS AT THE SILENCE SHE HEARS

 

STILL SO FEARFUL IN HER EMPTINESS

 

SO HARD TO HOLD BACK THE TEARS

 

 

 

SHE STARES INTO THE NIGHT SKY

 

AS THE MOON AND STARS COLLIDE

 

REALIZING IN AN INSTANT

 

SHE CAN NO LONGER HIDE

 

 

 

LOOKING TO HER SAVIOR SHE PRAYS

 

PLEASE, I ASK YOU TO SEND SOMEONE

 

TO KEEP ME FROM FOREVER

 

EXPERIENCING THE LONELINESS OF ONE

 

 

 

SHE WAKES IN THE MORNING

 

WITH A NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE

 

SHE KNOWS BEYOND ANY DOUBTS

 

THAT SOME DAY SHE WILL BE A WIFE

 

 

 

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR OF HONESTY

 

SHE BEGINS TO SEE HER INNER BEAUTY

 

AS THE LORD SEE’S HER EVERYDAY

 

SHE IS LEARNING TO TRUST HIS WAYS

 

 

 

SHE NOW HAS A PEACE ABOUT HER

 

AS SHE TURNS HER PRAISE TOWARDS THE SON

 

HE KEEPS HER WRAPPED IN HIS LOVING ARMS

 

PROTECTING HER FROM THE LONELINESS OF ONE

 

 

 

NO LONGER FILLED WITH DOUBT

 

AS SHE PRESSES ON THROUGH THE DAY

 

BELIEVING IN HER YEARNING HEART

 

THAT TRUE LOVE IS ON THE WAY

 

 

 

SHE WALKS WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

 

AS SHE SPEAKS TO THE WOMEN IN THE ROOM

 

SHE LIFTS THEIR SPIRITS WITH SUCH CONFIDENCE

 

HER OWN HEART NO LONGER FILLED WITH GLOOM

 

 

 

NOW SHE IS LOOKING FORWARD

 

KEEPING HER EYES ON THE HOLY ONE

 

KNOWING THAT HE IS ALWAYS WITH HER

 

NO LONGER ENDURING THE LONELINESS OF ONE                                              

 

 

 

 

 

WRITTEN BY R JANE POLAND ©

 

 

 

 

 

FRIENDSHIP: THE STRUGGLES WE FACE AS WE MATURE IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS

 

 

 

I seem to be thinking an awful lot about the subject of friendship lately. While I was attempting to go to sleep last night my brain would not give me the peace and quiet I so much craved so I lay there in the silence listening to the beat of my heart thump in my chest. So many things flashed through my mind on the subject.  You see, recently I have been feeling quite insecure in one of my friendships.  Every time I start to feel this way I turn to God and give the friendship over to Him.  I do this because sometimes relationships can reach the point where they seem to be overwhelming no matter how you look at them. I believe sometimes it comes down to a really fine line of when you should fight for your friendship and when it is time to move on and let the friendship fizzle out and eventually come to an end.  Sometimes you have to ask yourself what hurts worse, holding on or letting go?

 

Currently my daughter is struggling to understand some of the things going on with one of her friendships as well. This is very difficult for me to discuss with her as we are on different levels of maturity and she doesn’t quite grasp the same concepts as I do.  I have tried to let her know that I was once her age and I understand what she is feeling.  I have also advised her on the fact that not all friendships last forever.  I do not wish for her friendship to end with this gal, but she is really hurting and as a mom I don’t like to see that either.  I know my daughter hears what I am saying but I am not sure if she is listening.  After all I am her mom and we parents are stupid and don’t know anything.  Whenever I try to have a mature talk with her on the subject of friendship her usual reply is “I don’t understand your adult talk”.  Being as I haven’t been a teenager in a really long time I am not sure what the best form of communication with her should be at this point.  She is pretty mature for her age but when a teenager is hurting it can be quite difficult to talk to them regarding relationships in a format they will comprehend.

 

I have done my best to let her know there are different levels of friendship, different levels of trust, and that you don’t just tell your secrets to anyone. You must pick and choose wisely who you want to connect with on a deeper level verses who you just want to hang out and have fun with.  I know junior high is rough and it seems like those friendships tend to vary from day-to-day.  It seems as though one day she is very mad at someone and the next they are acting as if nothing has happened. Like many other young people my daughter tends to bottle up her feelings and rather than cry them out she vents in anger when she is hurting.  I can totally relate as I used to do the same thing when I was her age.  I hope that one day she will understand the importance of relationships and take all that she has learned over the years and be able to apply it to her own life as well as share this wisdom with her children too.  Well enough about the troubles of teenage life, let’s get back to the subject of my friendships.

 

Over my 40 plus years of life I have had so many people in and out of my life, I can’t even guess a round-a-bout number as to how many there have actually been. Each and every person I have been blessed with having in my life as well as those who chose to “bounce” out of my life, has taught me a profound lesson regarding the importance of keeping (and when to let go of) relationships.  Some of the people who currently remain a big part of my life are surprisingly really different than me.  A few of these friendships do not hold the attributes I would tend to look for in a friend.  For instance, I am a super emotional, loving, affectionate, needy and for lack of a better word, mushy person.  I need my friends.  I need to know how important I am to them.  I need them to not only tell me, I also need them to show me.  When the couple of friends I have that are not any of those things came waltzing into my life I just learned to accept them the way they are.  At times I struggle with the lack of emotion they tend to share and my insecurity rears up and I start to feel as if I am not really as important to them as they say I am.  It is usually in those times one tends to send a simple, yet meaningful text.  In these times when I reach desperation and am ready to accept the fact that I am not an important part of someone’s life God always seems to intervene and I am met by the love I so greatly seek from my friends in the first place.

 

As of today, I have many people in my life I would call friends, but only a handful I know I can depend on no matter what. Only a few I can talk to about anything.  Some friends I only see once or twice a year.  Others I see almost every day.  Some friends I have had for a really long time.  Others have only been in my life for a short time now. I even have some super close friends that I think of as the best, who don’t always acknowledge my existence let alone show me they love me.  I have one friend whom I have known around 6 months and sometimes she treats me better than some of my closest friends.  I will talk about her in somewhat detail in the next paragraph.  No matter who they are or how often I see them, one thing I can guarantee is that I love them all and the smile each and every one of them can put upon my face when they are present is indeed genuine.  I am going to brag on one friend in particular here and if she happens to read this and it embarrasses her I am gonna go ahead and pre-apologize for that as she feel awkward when receiving a compliment of any kind.  I am not going to mention her name but if she does happen upon this blog I am willing to wager she will know it is her I am referring to.

 

Six months ago this mysterious gal walked into my life simply by happenstance. I noticed her from across the room as the confidence and security she seemed to carry scared the dickens out of me.  I thought to myself “who is this amazing person?”  As the days passed and I began to listen to her telling all kinds of stories about her life, I decided to go ahead and approach her with the concept of maybe hanging out sometime.  As it turns out her and I along with another mutual friend ended up going to dinner and an evening “activity” together.  Despite the fact that I am not so good when there is a group of 3 or more people and I much prefer one-on-one hangout times, we laughed a lot and had a really fun time. It was after this evening of fun that I decided I was going to allow this person access to my personal bubble.

 

In the past 6 months this awesome gal and I have formed what I would call a strong bond.  Although she is nothing like me in that she does not often (if at all) verbalize her affections towards me (and I am sure if she is  reading this she is cringing at the word affections as I tend to believe we do not agree on the definition of this word at all). Sometimes her lack of affection does leave me beside myself with insecurity, but for the most part I consider her one of my favorite people on the planet.  No matter how busy she is, she is always willing to rearrange her schedule and make time for me if I need to talk.  Despite the short amount of time we have known each other she has become someone I know I can depend on for so many things.  I only hope she can say the same about me, if not verbally than at least with a head nod from across the room, a photo of some yellow roses (which represent friendship) with a meaningful saying attached or just a “Thank Ya” with that little extra enthusiasm from the heart.  Thank you “Buttercup” for being you: an inspiration, a plethora of knowledge and wisdom, a confidant, a true friend and “The bomb dot com” in my life.

 

There are so many wonderful friends I could mention in this blog, but I do wish to keep my readers interested in my writing and I think if I wrote about each and every one of them it would be more like a book rather than a single blog. Although I have only “highlighted” one of my friends in this blog I would like to thank all of my friends for putting up with all of my weird little quirks and standing by my side throughout all of life’s little ups and downs.  May we remain friends as long as we can, but if we must part you need to know you will remain in my heart forever as I am what some would call a “lifer” and I will never really say “Goodbye” to any of you.  I will not apologize for the deep affectionate love I have for each of you because that is who I am and I believe God planted that love in my heart so I can share it with others, not so I can bottle it up and keep it all to myself.  Hugs and kisses to you all.

 

R JANE POLAND ©

 

DO YOU HEAR ME?

 

 

 

DO YOU HEAR ME

WHEN I AM TALKING

AND YOU LOOK AWAY

AS IF YOU REALLY DON’T CARE

 

DO YOU HEAR ME

WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU

AND YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES

IN THE MIDST OF YOUR OWN DISPAIR

 

DO YOU HEAR ME

WHEN I UTTER SOFTLY

AND POUR OUT THE WORDS

I’VE HELD SO DEEPLY IN MY HEART

 

DO YOU HEAR ME

EXPRESSING MY LOVE

AND WANTING YOUR TOUCH

AS I FEEL OUR LOVE FALL FROM MY CLUTCH

 

DO YOU HEAR ME

WHEN I AM CRYING

IN THE DARK OF NIGHT

AS MY TEARS TAKE FLIGHT

 

DO YOU HEAR ME IN MY SILENCE

AS MY HEART STOPS BEATING FOR YOU

WHILE I LEARN TO LET GO OF YOUR MEMORY

AND NO LONGER HOLD ONTO WHAT USED TO BE

 

DO YOU HEAR MY HEART BREAKING

AS I EXPRESS MY DYING DEVOTION TO YOU

CAN YOU SENSE THE END OF WHAT WAS MEANT TO BE

A LIFE THAT ONCE WAS BEAUTIFUL BETWEEN YOU AND ME

 

DO YOU HEAR ME IN MY DESPERATE PLEA

CALLING OUT YOUR NAME AS I FALL TO MY KNEES

ALL THE WHILE KNOWING YOU MAY NOT REPLY AT ALL

AND IF I FOLLOW MY BROKEN HEART THE PIECES THEY WILL FALL

 

 

DO YOU HEAR MY WHISPERS

AS THEY CROSS MY EVER SO SOFT LIPS

WANTING TO TELL YOU SO MANY THINGS

YET SO AFRAID OF WHAT MAY BE IF MY WORDS SLIP

 

DO YOU HEAR ME ONCE AND FOR ALL

LISTENING TO SOMEONE ELSE’S HEART CALL

WHILE I CLING SO DESPERATELY TO A LOVE SO NEW

HOLDING ONTO ANOTHER, I AM FINALLY RELEASING YOU

 

DO YOU HEAR ME LEAVING

WHEN YOU NOW WISH TO CALL

IT’S TOO LATE FOR YOU TO HEAR ME

NOW WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY AT ALL

 

DO YOU HEAR ME SAYING FAREWELL

TO YOU AS YOU LISTEN FOR THE FIRST TIME

IN THE SILENCE YOU PUSHED ME AWAY

NOW IT’S TOO LATE TO HEAR WHAT I HAD TO SAY

 

DO YOU HEAR MY CRIES

AS THEY TURN TO LAUGHTER ONCE MORE

PUSHING PAST THE BROKENNESS OF MY ACHING HEART

GOODBYE TO THE ONE WHO ONLY KNEW HOW TO TEAR IT APART

 

DO YOU HEAR ME ONE LAST TIME

AS I’M QUIETLY WALKING OUT THE DOOR

AND MOVING ONTO A NEW AND BETTER PLACE

THE LAST TIME I’LL HEAR THE SILENCE WRITTEN ON YOUR FACE

 

R. JANE POLAND

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Journalism Today: The impact of news and social media on our lives

One of the things wrong with today’s society is the media.  Whether it’s the newspaper, the television, MSN, Facebook or the many other forms, they tend to only stick to the negative side of reporting the “news”.  For so many years now the main focus of all the media is to report the ugly side of what is going on in the world.  Whatever happened to informing people of all the good things going on?

 

I have a friend who works for one of the local (and I say local meaning close by, not the town I live in) newspapers.  I see him at least 3 times a month as he comes into the office where I work to gather information for the particular paper he works for.  During times when I am not swamped I tend to take the time to chat with this young fellow.  He reminds me of the kind of person I would be proud to call son.  He has so many wonderful ideas in his young brain that I find myself quite fascinated by the stories he has to tell.

 

Just a few weeks ago the young man from the paper and I were talking about the fact that the media doesn’t seem to write about anything interesting or the kind of news “normal” people want to read or hear about.  It seems as if they thrive on boring us with the same old stories of scandal that only a few people (usually the gossipers) want to know about.  Believe it or not the rest of us don’t really care about that kind of crap and are sick and tired of hearing about it.  For once why don’t you media people write and talk about something good.

 

For instance, about a year ago I was speaking with a young journalist who also works for a local paper and I asked her why don’t they put something fun in the paper, you know, like a Poetry corner or something artsy? Her response was something to the effect of “The editor won’t do anything like that”.  That particular paper did interview me and featured an article on me, however they did leave some of the positive things I had done out of the article.  Hmmmm, I wonder why that was?

 

I don’t wish to start any arguments with this blog, but three of the things that were left out of the article had to do with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I had mentioned to the journalist how much I loved God, how I felt my church was a big part of my life and how I was a part of a big group that traveled to Guatemala on a missions trip. None of those items were mentioned at all in the paper.  This saddened me as those things were and still are very important to me.

 

It seems as though if something is going wrong in the world (whether local or distant) the news media only wishes for the worst to be seen.  For example, the most recent election has taken the up the media for several months now.  All of the so called scandals going on with those running for office has been absolutely crazy.  By crazy I mean blown way out of proportion.  I am more than sure some of the things that were spoken of were probably made up by not only the people making claims, but the media as well.  I mean come on folks!  If something happened 20-30 years ago and you are just now bringing it up a few weeks before the election, sounds like a bunch of bologna to me.

 

Now, let me get back to the young fellow who works for a nearby paper.  I won’t disclose his name or which paper he works for, but it seems as if this young man and I are on the same page as far as writing positive stories in the paper (as well as broadcasting them on the news).  Why is it that the media (basically) refuses to do so?  Has this world become such a disgusting, repulsive place that all we want (or expect) to hear is bad news?  Have we pushed the one who created it all so far away that we no longer believe there is good news out there to be reported?

As I do most mornings, I was recently listening to a popular Christian speaker on my satellite radio on my way to work and I heard a little “snip it” of a story that made me want to cry.  He said he and his wife had been interviewed regarding a hurricane that had recently torn through the area and that they had only good news to share.  Long story short, the reporter got fired due to the news not being sad (or bad) enough.  I couldn’t believe what I had heard.  I was completely disgusted by the fact that the reported had been fired because she had not reported terrible news.  What is wrong with this society?

 

In other news, the young man from the paper and I were discussing some ideas on what kind of news should be reported.  We tossed some ideas around and agreed that there needs to be less “crap” being reported and more lively, uplifting stories that may possibly change some lives.  After all, what good is it to report the news if we are not making a difference in the lives around us?  Do you really think all of the negative news is making an impact on people’s lives?  How exactly is it, that reports of violence, protests and pain are changing anything?  All that does is make people scared and angry.

 

So my questions for the media are these: Why do you thrive on reporting bad news?  Why must you embellish (defined as “to enhance with fictitious additions”) what is already negative? What makes you think all of us want to hear that crap?  Why don’t you try reporting some good news once in a while?  Why don’t you put some positive impacting stories in the newspaper?  Don’t you think that maybe, just maybe this world would be a much happier and safer place if instead of reporting about violence you would tell a story that may just change lives in a positive way?

 

So, to any of you reading this who are in any way connected to a media source, I am going to throw a challenge your way.  I am asking that you contact whatever media outlet you can and ask them to write or report on some good news.  I encourage all of you to stop sharing and posting all of the negative, nasty, well embellished reports you see on your social media newsfeed.  Instead, try posting something that will make someone smile.  And instead of throwing out a quick reaction to something someone shared, why don’t you take time to think about how it is really affecting you. Here’s a novel idea: How about you scroll on by and not actually leave a hurtful comment.

 

In closing on the subject of news and the social media I would like to think this blog will go a long way and gets into the hearts of the readers, so much so that there is a major impact in direction of positivity so great there is a spreading of the good news across this great nation that will touch the lives of every single being.  I am in no way looking to glorify myself in that statement, however I am willing to do whatever I can to help improve the lives of others the best way I know how, and that way is writing.  Whether it be a poem, a blog, a song, or even an article in the newspaper I intend to spread as much good news to as many people possible while I am still on this earth.

 

May God continue to bless all of you (my readers) with the desires of your heart as you seek to be the best you can be in this earthly life that will hopefully someday be filled with good news. And may the only impact of social (and otherwise) media be positively amazing to the point of absolute refreshment upon your soul.  Go out and make a difference in someone’s life.  You never know, the impact you make might just change the world.

R. Jane Poland